Children In Need…

Children In Need

Children

Here in the UK, we’ve just endured the annual ‘Children In Need’ charity event on BBC television.

You know the sort of thing?

Where lots of filthy-rich celebrities come on and try to extort money from the poor viewers, aided and abetted by heart-wrenching video clips of every possible childhood-related tragedy you could think of.

It’s not that I’m against raising money for charity. Far from it. I have jumped out of perfectly serviceable aircraft to raise money for good causes.

I even ran the London Marathon for children with cancer, raising around £5,000 in the process and knackering my knees for what I suspect will be the rest of my life.

And I have no issues with children either, being a proud father and uncle.

It’s just the way they go about it that really winds me up.

So, in an attempt to let off some ‘literary’ steam and to avoid doing my REAL work of finishing my latest thriller, I have written a tiny magic-realism piece about Children In Need.

Gingerbread House

 

The wizened old woman stretched out a bony arm and switched off the radio with a relieved sigh, stretching her tired back for a moment before turning her attention back to her hot stove.

She flicked the tattered red hood away from her lined face before deftly trimming the uncooked pastry from the edges of the pie and rolling it into several balls, about the size of little breadcrumbs.

She threw the first of these across the odd-looking kitchen and watched as her Staffordshire bull terrier leapt into the air and snatched it, his strong jaws snapping shut with all the finality and violence of a gin-trap.

‘Children in need,’ she exclaimed to the dog.

‘Children in need, Wolfie?

In need of precisely what, I ask you?

In need of some manners, maybe.

In need of an education, of a backbone, moral fibre, respect for their elders, where do I stop?

Most of all, Wolfie, they’re children in need of a bath.

Tasty though…’

Wolfie just licked his lips and smiled.

 

Alex x

PS: I am still working on the 4th Ridge Walker adventure thriller and I promise it will be published later this year.

Find me on Facebook

Follow me on Twitter

If you’re looking for some dark and gritty writing then check out my thriller THE DEVIL YOU KNOW. There’ll be a sequel in the very near future.children

Not for the faint of heart but it’ll reward you for reading it. 

“I would definitely recommend this book if you are looking for something a little bit different.”

“The effort was worth it. More than a story, I recommend this book to readers who appreciate good writing. I am truly impressed and hope to see more books by Alex Breck.”

 

Have you listened to my Podcast show Alex Breck’s Banter yet?

ferry

Who’s The Daddy?

Who’s The Daddy?

Daddy

Today is National Poetry Day in Scotland.

Sadly, much as I enjoy a good poem, writing them isn’t my forte, to put it mildly.

So, in place of a poem, I have something else for you.

Not quite a poem, but not really a short story either, you can make of this little piece of writing just what you wish.

I hope you enjoy!

 

Who’s The Daddy?

 

Wow! I have led a sheltered life, I think.

Never seen one that big, not up close anyway.

And not pointing right at me.

He senses my apprehension and smiles. He turned to the side and lowered it somewhat and I immediately felt less threatened. At least he hadn’t thrust it in my face the way Andy liked to do. Mind you, he had always been all about posture and bravado. When it came down to it, he was never able to fulfil the early promise that I can now barely even remember seeing in him. That probably explained the aggression and the drunken beatings.

‘Would you like to touch it?’ he said, reading my mind again.

But instead, I let him control it for a minute more as I tentatively stroked its length. It was a monster next to the sad facsimile I’d find waiting for me back home.

Then I took it fully in my hands and felt the heft of it for the first time. It surprised me and he smiled again. He was obviously used to this reaction from his new customers, especially ones like me who had never thought that they’d find themselves in this embarrassing situation.

‘I offer a 100% satisfaction guarantee to all my customers, but obviously I wouldn’t want you to be recommending me to your sewing bee or anything and-’

‘-Oh, I wouldn’t be too sure,’ I said, gripping it more firmly now and feeling the latent power in my fingertips. My hours of covert practice in the field behind the old shed at home hadn’t prepared me for this. The young boys from across the road would freak out if they could see me now.

We shared a cigarette after his brief but earth-shattering demonstration and I felt my hands shake as I handed over my rolled up wad of damp notes. He nodded and left me standing there alone, a silhouette of vengeance, unmoved by the vortex of autumn leaves encircling me.

Daddy

 

‘Oh yeah baby, I decided, sliding in a twenty round magazine. This will do nicely. This time, we’ll see who’s the daddy…

 

 

 

Alex x

PS: I am still working on the 4th Ridge Walker adventure thriller and I promise it will be published later this year.

Find me on Facebook

Follow me on Twitter

If you’re looking for some dark and gritty writing then check out my thriller THE DEVIL YOU KNOW. There’ll be a sequel in the very near future.ferry

Not for the faint of heart but it’ll reward you for reading it. 

“I would definitely recommend this book if you are looking for something a little bit different.”

“The effort was worth it. More than a story, I recommend this book to readers who appreciate good writing. I am truly impressed and hope to see more books by Alex Breck.”

 

Have you listened to my Podcast show Alex Breck’s Banter yet?

ferry